My self identity and worth was tied to a percentage on a computer screen.

I have always been a high achieving student. As a result, the grades I got were a reflection of the blood, sweat, and tears I put into an assignment. Usually, my hard work was granted the reward I wanted: an A. If that happened then I would feel like I was on cloud 9—the “A” I received was confirmation that I would be able to achieve all the goals I had for my future. However, on the occasion that I would get less than that it felt like everything I had worked for had been for nothing. My identity toppled off of the house of cards I had built my every being on.

Only after many sleepless nights contemplating the two points I needed to get an A and countless mental breakdowns, did I realize that perhaps there was more to me than just a grade. I accepted that my family and friends would still love me if I wasn’t the top student and the teachers wouldn’t think less of me. But it was hard to get out of the cyclical mindset that is academic validation.

I started to love running as a way to curb some of the school anxiety. The rhythmic pattern of feet hitting the treadmill slowly found its way to calming my heart. Paired with the fact that when you’re running, there’s nothing else you can do but run gave me an outlet where what I was doing had nothing to do with academia. Running was an activity where I could see progress without an evaluation of the work I produced.

Running has tremendously helped me through anxiety attacks. I hope by running 1,000 miles in 2025, that I can bring awareness to Asian American mental health. Perhaps others who have felt so alone in the dark hole that is school anxiety and depression can see that there is a way to outrun the tiger.